On this particular Saturday morning, he felt especially grateful; it was a welcome and much needed respite after the week he'd just experienced. So, Chris decided that he'd take a mid morning walk through the French Quarter for a late breakfast, taking advantage of the beautiful weather.
He casually strolled through the historic streets, lined with beautiful, pastel colored structures that lend an indescribable romantic and mysterious feel to New Orleans.
He especially enjoyed hearing the horse carriage tour guides intermittently pass by. He'd eavesdrop, taking in historical facts which mesmerized tourists as they sipped a beer while eagerly shifting their heads from side to side in the back of the carriage.
Most of these rehearsed tales were peppered with folklore and embellishment. Ultimately, it was the hypnotic cadence of hoofs clopping through the narrow age old streets, winding their way past magnificent buildings and quaint houses. Chris always held deep appreciation that these streets and buildings were marked with a mysterious and storied past.
Sipping a cup of coffee in the morning shadow of St. Louis Cathedral, a stoic centerpiece of the city, Chris struggled to make sense of everything that had transpired. If he did have a clean slate, what was he to do next? He wondered.
Chris inched his way further upward through the Quarter, absorbing the natural energy of an awakening city. The street cleaners and garbage men were hard at work, erasing all remnants of the nightly, alcohol induced controlled chaos which marks a typical weekend night in the Quarter. Store and restaurant owners scrambled to set up sidewalk displays, street musicians and artists were hard at work staking out their territory for another day of work.
Just as he turned the corner, Chris noticed a young woman who appeared to be struggling with a stubborn lock to the front door of an unassuming little pub.
The woman's arms were laden with bags, making her task even more difficult. Finally, one of the bag handles snapped; all of the supplies that she'd purchased on her way to work for the pub owner tumbled to the sidewalk and the curb.
"Goddamn it!!" the woman exclaimed; surveying the mess scattered along the filthy sidewalk, she let out a long sigh.
The sight stopped Chris dead in his tracks; unable to move, he stared for a moment, petrified...It was Erin.
A rush of adrenaline pulsed through his body; he was frightened to be seen much less to assist. Chris frantically searched his mind, wondering how to handle this unexpected encounter.
He reasoned that this would be an experimental moment of truth, a test drive in his seemingly changed existence. Just as though one were about to jerk a shard of glass from a toe, Chris resolved that it was time to explore his future by finally facing the past.
"Let me help you with that," a calming voice came from behind.
Erin quickly spun around, coming face to face with Chris as lemons and limes from her grocery bag rolled down the sidewalk.. Chris gathered Erin’s belongings from her arms and from the ground as she fumbled with her keys.
"I’ll hold this stuff while you unlock the door," Chris offered.
"Thank you; this door is about a hundred years old...so is the lock, I think," Erin smiled.
As Erin finally retracted three stubborn deadbolts, Chris couldn't help but to stare; she was as beautiful as ever to him.
"Well, c‘mon, I can‘t exactly not return the favor. We're not locked out now...help me rob the joint," she laughed.
"I've never seen a robber who brought a bag of lemons, limes and hand soap to the scene of a crime," Chris laughed, tossing a final, stray lemon into the bag.
"Well, I'm definitely gonna have to wash em' now that they've been on this sidewalk," She laughed.
Chris placed Erin‘s belongings on the corner of the bar top as she quickly began her morning work routines. She started with the lights; one after another, Erin glided through the room, slowly bringing this rusty old bar to life with each flip of a switch.
The walls and shelves were covered with nostalgia and storied old relics that have been comfortably in place for decades. A living piece of Americana, where a new trinket, relic or picture appeared from time to time along the way.
Some came from the owners and employees, others from loyal patrons, but all held a unique story. This dive felt “lived in“, and was most certainly an evolving work of art.
"Have a drink; it‘s on me," Erin insisted. "You‘ll be the lucky first customer of the day."
"Don’t I have to actually pay for the drink in order to officially be a customer?" Chris boyishly smiled.
"OK, so buy a drink; the first one’s on me though, especially after watching you chase fruit rolling down the sidewalk" Erin insisted.
Chris sipped his drink as he watched Erin prep for business behind the bar.
"Where ya’ from?" Erin quizzed, making small talk.
Chris didn’t want to say Virginia; he felt unsure as to how this new found anonymity thing worked. Perhaps it would jolt her memory. Maybe she'd vaguely remember him...he didn’t want to take any chances. So, he blurted out the first state that came to his already racing mind.
"Montana."
No sooner than his words escaped his lips, Chris began to panic. "Fuck!" he thought to himself, "REALLY? Montana?? That’s the first fucking place that came to my mind? Why not California or Las Vegas or something cool?? Mon-fucking-tana. Great!!" He continued to mentally pound himself.
"Oh??" Erin politely smiled. "I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone from Montana…how is it this time of year?"
"Flat," Chris immediately shot back.
"You don’t live in a shack in the middle of nowhere plotting against the government or anything like that do ya’??" Erin joked.
"Not yet; I think there’s a waiting list for that," he deadpanned.
As out of town revelers began their recovery from drunken Friday night antics, an untamed party began anew as the bar steadily filled. Another typical weekend in the Quarter.
Erin occasionally wandered down to the bar corner to chat with Chris and to steal a few puffs from her cigarette in between tending to patrons.
"So, Chris from Montana, you visiting for a while?"
"Nah, I live here," he dismissed.
"Really, where?"
"Mid City."
"Really?? I have friends over there; It's on the streetcar line so I get over there quite a bit" she smiled. So, what’s on the agenda today?" Erin casually pried.
"You're lookin' at it," Chris answered, hoisting his drink.
Somehow Erin had a strange, yet comfortable, feeling in talking with Chris. She found him to be funny and the conversation was enjoyable. Plus, for once, she thought, he seemed like a guy who actually listens.
Chris cautioned himself in that it seemed inappropriate to use intimate experience to a selfish advantage; he felt that, ethically, he should only employ this opportunity to make better decisions while repairing a some hurtful situations in the process and then move on.
After all, he’d never intended to see Erin again, much less to contemplate round two in a relationship with her. He’d seen enough turmoil and felt no need for either of them to revisit such a dark and cold place ever again. But, he found himself enticingly curious as to what it might be like to have a second chance. Perhaps a clean slate provided an ideal advantage if he handled it better this time around.
Maybe, just maybe he could use this chance to craft a better outcome between he and Erin.
Knowing what time she got off work, Chris asked Erin the question anyway.
"I get out at 9 tonight," she replied.
"Well, I gotta go run some errands but maybe I’ll get back around before you get off, Chris casually announced."
"OK; maybe I’ll see ya’ later" Erin smiled."
"Thanks for the drink."
Erin studied Chris as he walked away. She hesitantly wondered if he might have been flirting a bit but immediately dismissed such a silly notion.
Across town, Chris frantically banged on the door until Thomas bolted to the porch.
"God dammit Chris!! Don’t I get a day off from your crazy ass??"
"No," Chris dismissed. "Look, I got a big problem Thomas."
"Yeah? That’s a big fuckin’ understatement," Thomas agreed.
"Seriously Thomas, I ran into my ex girlfriend and I don’t know what to do!"
"So? Go get some of dat' on ya...What the hell you want me to do bout' it bro, film it?"
"I never intended to run into her again, but now that I did…" Chris paused, sorting through conflicted thoughts. "My common sense tells me to leave it alone but, after spending some time with her today, I’m thinkin' otherwise. We made a real connection"
"Chris, that’s your decision, I’m not ya' daddy or ya' momma, but it sounds like ya’ll ain’t meant for one another from what you told me. I ain't ever been with someone who made me feel like takin' a bottle of pills. Either way, you gotta make that decision for yourself."
"I don’t wanna go through life not knowing," Chris somberly wondered aloud. "Go with me back to her bar; I don’t wanna go back alone. I wanna at least feel her out and make sure what I should do. Please...Go with me!" Chris insisted.
" C, you comin' dangerously close to makin' me charge you for my services," Thomas sighed.
Chris helplessly stared at Thomas for a few seconds until Thomas relented.
"What time?" Thomas snapped, clearly annoyed.
"Soon," Chris shot back instantly.
"Boy, you just came from there; you don’t wanna look like you a desperate mess, even though you are a desperate mess," Thomas scolded. "Look man, you gotta hang back, getcha game; it's all good to be interested but don’t act like you interested," he coached.
"What would you do?" Chris begged for Thomas' opinion.
"I'd treat it like havin' invisible powers like in one of them science fiction movies or like the second chance thing you got might end at anytime," Thomas answered.
"Whaddaya mean?" Chris pried.
"I'd fuckin' stick and move dawg. Ya' heard me? Crack dat bat fast in case this shit you got wears off. What the hell you gonna do if you're in the middle of takin' care of business and all of a sudden this nobody knows me shit wears off and she's lookin' up at you ready to bust it out and says...HEY, wait a minute! You that crazy fuckin' boy I used to be with," Thomas laughed.
Chris quietly stared at Thomas, taking in his theory.
"Even worse, once she realizes that you put the crazy stick in her, she gets pissed off and then she calls the police and has you arrested for givin' her some date rape drug or shit," Thomas continued.
"Are you fucking insane?" Chris retorted.
Chris and Thomas sat on the porch exchanging thoughts and jabs about the bizarre situation and how Chris should handle it. In the back of his mind, Chris wanted to pursue Erin, after all, he’s got a second chance if he were to decide on a real and carefully planned attempt at attracting Erin's affection.
With his new found anonymity, there isn't even an ex wife...for that matter, she wasn't even a wife because they’d never met. The slate is completely clean with Erin as well. Maybe he should leave well enough alone; maybe Thomas is right.
The guys walked down to the pub to visit with Marie for a second opinion.
Taking a long gulp of his beer, Thomas began, "Look here, the key is to be cool my man! Women don’t wanna be chased but they DO wanna be chased."
"What?" Chris asked.
"It's fucked up for sure," Thomas continued. "But you gotta train em' boy, let em’ know that you dig what they got, then, when they act all interested, pull that shit back dog. Make em‘ beg for ya' shit. No call back, no text, then when you see her out someplace just act all casual."
"Bullshit!" Marie interrupted. "Chris, I cant believe you’re gonna take dating advice from, what I’ll bet is, a guy who can’t keep a woman for more than a night."
"That’s all I need princess," Thomas assured with a raucous laugh, clapping his hands.
"Yeah? I heard only 5 minutes is all you need," Marie quipped as she walked away.
"Wait!" Thomas yelled. "You got an advantage my man. You know EVERYTHING about her C, and you can use it to seal this shit up in a second."
"That’s manipulation," Chris warned.
Don't tell me you lookin' to get a relationship on with this girl bro...I'm tryin' to help ya' get laid."
After a moment, Chris thought aloud. "OK, I can use a little bit of what I know to get her interested, but that’s it," he reasoned.
Marie returned to the table. "I say just be yourself. Believe it or not, some girls actually like a guy like that," She advised, shooting a nasty glare to Thomas.
"Yeah, the ones who like to sit around and have ya’ ass readin’ poetry in City Park dawg," Thomas interjected. "Ain't nothin' sexy bout' dat'."
"Yeah, but that’s not Erin," Chris corrected. "I know her; we always did fun shit."
"Then be yourself and see what happens," Marie advised. "Personally, I think you should steer clear, but I want you to be happy," she continued.
"I bet she’s got a boyfriend anyway," Chris quietly resolved.
"You want me to take his ass out?" Thomas offered.
"Will you shut the fuck up?" Chris shot back.
"I’m just sayin’, anything can happen to a muthafucka walkin’ to his house C," Thomas justified.
"No, Thomas, I don’t need any of your services; Jesus, I wish you’d get away from the dicks that you run with," Chris scolded. "Besides, if I do this, I wanna get it right this time."
Thomas and Chris later appeared at the end of Erin’s bar where she instantly greeted them.
"Well, you’re back," she said, tossing two bar napkins squarely in front of the guys. "You didn’t stay long before; I thought it was something I said," Erin laughed.
"Nah," Chris nervously replied.
"What’s your friend’s name?" Erin pointed to Thomas.
"Thomas," Chris introduced.
"Well, I’m Erin; nice to meetcha Thomas. What can I get for you boys?"
"Obviously something strong for Chris. I’ll take a Heineken," Thomas ordered.
"I’ll take a Stoli on the rocks," Chris ordered.
As Erin walked away to get the drinks Thomas scolded Chris.
"Ya' see? Girl already senses you nervous...I told ya’ to play it cool C; be confident."
"It’s weird to be flirting with my girlfriend," Chris whispered.
"She ain’t your girlfriend bro; I don’t know if you forgot about some shit goin' on this week, but you the invisible man right now," Thomas reminded.
As the afternoon passed, Erin found herself enjoying the company of her new friends. She was especially impressed by Chris’ similar taste in music and books. Chris used a little inside knowledge to quickly gain her interest.
Thomas leaned over and whispered to Chris:
Hey D, I gotta go, you gonna be alright with this situation on ya' own?"
"I’m fine, I think," Chris answered.
"Good...hey girl, I’ll take a Long Island Tea…on Chris."
"Thanks," Chris whispered.
"It’s the price you pay for quality and specified baby sitter skills such as mine my man; I’m done workin’ for free," Thomas said, matter of factly, as he grabbed his drink to go.
Looking to Erin, Thomas excused himself.
"Thanks girl; it was good to make your acquaintance, ya' hear me? And it’s nice to see Chris is talking to girls again," Thomas teased.
Erin stared with a bewildered expression before Thomas continued ribbing Chris.
"We all thought my man here had a touch of the gay for a while," Thomas laughed, looking to Chris.
"Very funny asshole," Chris faked laughter back to Thomas.
Chris and Erin talked for a few hours in between customers. It was a bookmarked conversation where one or the other had to recall where they left off each time she returned. A good conversation indeed, covering a variety of topics, some serious some funny.
Erin began closing out her shift as she approached Chris.
"Hey, can I cash you out?"
"Sure thing," Chris replied. "Would you like to stay and join me for a couple games of pool after you get off?" Chris invited.
"Sure," Erin accepted Chris' invite.
They talked in between shots at the pool table in the back room. A thick cloud of cigarette smoke hovered above the table where Chris had just been soundly beaten for three straight games.
"Jesus!" He blurted; "so much for impressing you with my pool skills."
Erin laughed.
"They must not play pool in Montana."
"Montana??" Chris asked.
Then, remembering that he had told her he was indeed from the “Forget me” state, he quickly tried to recover.
"Oh, yeah, we don’t get out much," Chris answered.
After a short pause, and a knowing stare, Erin broke the awkward silence. "So...where ya’ REALLY from?" Erin asked with a smile, propping herself up with the pool cue.
"Virginia."
"Then why did you say Montana before?" Erin asked, slowly shaking her head, still smiling.
"I thought Virginia sounded too hokey, Chris sheepishly answered.
"Uh, as opposed to the bustling, exciting and exotic state of Montana?" She laughed.
"Be quiet and keep beating my ass at pool," he shot back with a smile.
"I lived in Virginia for a while," Erin announced as she aimed for the three ball.
"Oh, yeah?" Chris quizzed. "How was that for ya?" He continued.
Sinking the ball, Erin paused and looked up; she stared for a couple of seconds through the fluorescent mix of cigarette smoke before answering.
"Interesting," she finally replied.
"What brought you to New Orleans?" Chris asked.
"Bad decisions," she quietly answered; staring at the pool table. The smile vanished from her face.
Chris felt his heart sink.
"How bout you?" she asked; trying to divert attention.
"Pretty much the same," Chris quietly replied as he blankly stared at the corner pocket.
Erin broke the silence with a positive change of subject:
"Well, it’s clearly a decent decision because I’m having fun tonight."
Chris’ eyes brightened. Is she flirting? He wondered.
"Even though you may be the worst pool player I’ve seen," Erin continued with a playful laugh.
"Oh yeah??? Well, I play a mean game of putt putt golf, Chris retorted."
"Maybe we’ll see sometime soon," she teasingly challenged.
She IS flirting; he remembered Thomas’ advice and tried his best to look cool and disinterested.
"Maybe we will," he demurred.
The late evening reached 2am when Chris drove Erin home. They had both enjoyed each other’s company, although Erin felt a bit guilty since she still held conflicted feelings for one of her room mates.
Tim was a man who she was drawn to because of where she was in life; she felt torn and didn’t exactly know what to do. Erin recognized a glaring logic that she certainly didn’t need two guys in her mind right now but she was strangely drawn to Chris’ personality; and, so quickly, she thought. It was almost as if she’d known him in a past life. Erin believed in that sort of thing. Was she flirting? She wondered.
"This is me," she motioned, pointing to a small house in a neighborhood near the French Quarter known as the Marigny.
"I had a good time with you Mr. Chris," she announced with a bright smile.
Chris’ heart stopped; it was the smile that he fell in love with and he couldn’t believe that he was seeing it again for the first time since their last dance. This time with a fresh start.
"Well, I did too Erin; maybe I’ll see ya’ around soon, he announced, like a fourth grade boy stricken with puppy love.
"I hope so," she coyly agreed.
Erin shook her head and walked inside; locking the door behind her as Chris drove away, she carefully peeked through the blinds to spy her new friend pull away and turn the corner.
"Oh God," she mumbled under her breath. "I WAS flirting! He’s cute," she thought.
Now Erin felt even more conflicted as she tiptoed down the hallway to the bathroom .
Oh well, he’s not gonna come around anymore. No worries. It was just a one night thing and nothing happened; a one night stand without sex…interesting, she reasoned as she began removing her make-up. Her thoughts turned to her room mate, Tim.
Chris didn’t want to go home to sit and dwell on the evening he’d just shared with Erin, he’d done that all too often in the past and it served him none too well. He parked in front of the shop and walked to the pub to see if Marie might be hanging out. He needed female perspective.
He found Marie chatting with friends; she’d just finished work. Marie spotted Chris and sat down beside him at a small table.
"Well???" she anxiously begged for information.
"Well what?" Chris dismissed.
"Don’t well WHAT me; how did it go?" Marie quizzed.
After a few seconds of silence, Chris finally answered: "She was flirting with me."
"So...That's a good thing, right?
"Yes!" He instantly replied. "But, what now?" he wondered aloud.
"Just go with it Chris, this isn’t a race," Marie assured. "I have been thinking about something else though;" Marie’s voice turned serious.
Chris groaned.
"Hear me out," Marie explained. "You can make different decisions and, from what you’ve told me, both of you probably could have done so. I’m wondering a lot about the past with you two." she delicately noted.
"What do you mean?" Chris asked with a slight tone of irritation.
"Look, I’m happy for you, I really am; if this is what you want. Be careful here. Either you or she may not be able to stop things or maybe you two really can't get along; maybe you’re not a match after all. I just worry that one or both of you may end up heartbroken all over again," Marie warned. "Chris, you still don’t know how this thing works and I find it hard to believe that in her mind you NEVER existed; it’s just too weird," Marie theorized. "Plus, I really believe, to an extent, that fate is predetermined sweetheart."
Chris sighed. "Marie, we don’t know that, you don't know that for sure...I know this whole thing is weird but don’t over think it for me OK?"
Marie continued to delicately handle her words, "Look, all I’m saying is that you may see things differently, things you didn’t see on the first go around. I just don’t want you to come to a cross road here because I know you, it will drive you nuts having to make these decisions all over again."
"I’m not in the same mindset Marie; it’s not gonna be like that. I know how I feel and even though I wasn’t planning on re-grouping with Erin, just seeing her brought back good feelings, it filled me with hope. Can't you just let me have that...please?"
"All I’m worried about is that you may be looking so hard for some of the same things that happened before, focusing too hard on stopping the bad stuff in its tracks. But, things may unfold differently and catch you flatly off guard; you gotta keep your eyes open Chris. The same outcome may appear in different clothing this time...A different form, but the same beast."
"Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it," Chris snapped.
"Ok, Ok, look I won’t bring it up again; I'm sorry sweetie," Marie apologized.
After a few moments of silence Marie blurted another concern. "Have you thought about what would happen if you crossed paths with Angela?" she quizzed.
"Goddamn it Marie!" Chris glared with growing irritation.
"Hey, I’m only askin’ sweetie; you gotta think about that. I mean, she's your ex-wife."
"Not tonight I don‘t," Chris shot back. "I’m gonna go home and bask in my happiness."
Marie smiled, "Well, you deserve it baby."
As Chris walked home he noticed a group of men on the opposite side of the street lifting a car stereo.
It was Thomas and his boys. Thomas looked up and noticed Chris; he quickly looked the other way, as if he didn’t know him. Chris paused for a moment, shaking his head in frustration before he went on his way.
copyright Pontchartrain Press 2008
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