"...You people THINK too goddamn much," Thomas chastised. "...Y'all lecture ME? Like the pot callin' the kettle BLACK." Thomas continued.
"...What do you mean, YOU people?" Marie asked, laughing.
Chris interjected, "...Who you callin' BLACK?"
"...I mean YOU, Chris, ALL y’all mothafuckahs. You over thinkin' this shit," Thomas answered, directing his eyes to Chris.
"...I mean YOU, Chris, ALL y’all mothafuckahs. You over thinkin' this shit," Thomas answered, directing his eyes to Chris.
"Look, bro, you handled the Angela thing OK, but it sounds like she diggin’ on you, my man...just like I said the other night. You DO know you can’t be friends with this girl, right?"
"No, Thomas, I DON'T know that; I think I can. There’s no reason why I can’t be a decent person to her, in her life. The past is the past. Plus, I think she could use a friend right now. I used to enjoy talkin’ with her, and the other night...well, it was like old times. I can handle this."
"...The way you did before?" Marie chimed in.
"Thank you, girl!" Thomas quickly interjected.
"C’mon, you guys can't be serious; this isn’t the same," Chris defended his position.
"It’s shapin’ up that way, C," Thomas warned.
"How so??" Chris demanded.
"Well, I may not be as educated as you but, as I see it, you got a past with BOTH these ladies, Thomas began.
"Yeah? So what?" Chris dismissed.
"It’s reversed now," Thomas explained. You finally got in with Erin, and that’s what you wanted. Now, this Angela girl is becoming a friend, only she doesn’t see it that way because you still haven’t taken a stand with her and headed that shit off. She’s not gonna stop. You CANT BE friends with this girl, bro; you gotta choose, at some point, Chris," Thomas reasoned.
"This isn’t the fucking Price is Right," Chris lectured. "...I don’t have to choose anything, other than to be with Erin as her boyfriend and to be friends with Angela...End of story. We’re all adults," Chris assured, feeling as though he were being ambushed by Thomas and Marie.
"...Says the captain of the sinking boat," Thomas quickly added.
"...Look, Chris, not always but, typically, guys and girls can’t be just friends," Marie tactfully offered.
"What? Wait, that’s not what my ex told me," Chris defiantly shot back.
"Which one?" Thomas asked, "...Wife or girlfriend?"
"BOTH," Chris snapped.
Marie and Thomas exchanged a gloating smile.
"...Marie, you wanna take this one?" Thomas nonchalantly asked.
Marie began, thoughtfully.
"...Are you both trying to give me a fuckin’ stroke?" Chris barked, pushing away his plate. BOTH of these women loved me, before all of this. I believed them then AND, even on the second go-around, I still DO."
"...Listen here, there ARE exceptions," Thomas interrupted.
Chris’ eyes perked up, anticipating a sliver of hope and justification to his argument. Finally, he thought, my boy is stickin’ with me on this one.
"How so?" Chris eagerly asked.
Thomas stared at the ceiling fan, rubbing his chin before answering.
"...Nah, now that I think about it, there ain't no exceptions, my man," Thomas laughed to the point of nearly falling out of his chair.
"No, Thomas, I DON'T know that; I think I can. There’s no reason why I can’t be a decent person to her, in her life. The past is the past. Plus, I think she could use a friend right now. I used to enjoy talkin’ with her, and the other night...well, it was like old times. I can handle this."
"...The way you did before?" Marie chimed in.
"Thank you, girl!" Thomas quickly interjected.
"C’mon, you guys can't be serious; this isn’t the same," Chris defended his position.
"It’s shapin’ up that way, C," Thomas warned.
"How so??" Chris demanded.
"Well, I may not be as educated as you but, as I see it, you got a past with BOTH these ladies, Thomas began.
"Yeah? So what?" Chris dismissed.
"It’s reversed now," Thomas explained. You finally got in with Erin, and that’s what you wanted. Now, this Angela girl is becoming a friend, only she doesn’t see it that way because you still haven’t taken a stand with her and headed that shit off. She’s not gonna stop. You CANT BE friends with this girl, bro; you gotta choose, at some point, Chris," Thomas reasoned.
"This isn’t the fucking Price is Right," Chris lectured. "...I don’t have to choose anything, other than to be with Erin as her boyfriend and to be friends with Angela...End of story. We’re all adults," Chris assured, feeling as though he were being ambushed by Thomas and Marie.
"...Says the captain of the sinking boat," Thomas quickly added.
"...Look, Chris, not always but, typically, guys and girls can’t be just friends," Marie tactfully offered.
"What? Wait, that’s not what my ex told me," Chris defiantly shot back.
"Which one?" Thomas asked, "...Wife or girlfriend?"
"BOTH," Chris snapped.
Marie and Thomas exchanged a gloating smile.
"...Marie, you wanna take this one?" Thomas nonchalantly asked.
Marie began, thoughtfully.
"...Baby, that’s something someone usually says when they don’t want you to know that they like someone else because they're grooming another person on the side, usually for MONTHS, to take YOUR place, honey. You were replaced months before you even knew what happened."
Chris studied Marie's words carefully.
"... They're chasing the dopamine. A new supply. Classic narcissist avoidant. They'll tell you that they just need some time (or) YOU need help, or it's not YOU, it's ME," Marie advised, matter of factly. "...I've BEEN there, babe," Marie assured. "...They love bomb then, they devalue you; at the end, they might tell you the universe may bring things back. Then, it's over, sometimes. Sometimes not. You notice that BOTH of them have discarded their new supply?" Marie solemnly asked. "...They were in a confused spot, then they Hoover, babe. Usually while theyre WITH the new supply."
Chris fidgeted. "...And, what the fuck is Hoover?" Chris quizzed.
"...They literally are with the person they dumped you for but aren't sure they want to take you off Plan B status. Vacuum cleaner. They'll swoop in a few times and guage the landscape. They'll even cheat on the new person with you. It sucks, babe. Im sorry, but it happens a LOT."
"...Are you both trying to give me a fuckin’ stroke?" Chris barked, pushing away his plate. BOTH of these women loved me, before all of this. I believed them then AND, even on the second go-around, I still DO."
"...Listen here, there ARE exceptions," Thomas interrupted.
Chris’ eyes perked up, anticipating a sliver of hope and justification to his argument. Finally, he thought, my boy is stickin’ with me on this one.
"How so?" Chris eagerly asked.
Thomas stared at the ceiling fan, rubbing his chin before answering.
"...Nah, now that I think about it, there ain't no exceptions, my man," Thomas laughed to the point of nearly falling out of his chair.
"...That's why divorce lawyers make bank!" He continued, slapping Chris on the shoulder.
"Oh, C’mon!! Bullshit!" Chris chided. "This isn’t funny!"
Marie desperately tried to hold her laughter. "...Well" she began, "...let’s see..."
"What?" Chris snapped.
"...The guy your ex wife was with for a while, you know, her friend, what did he look like?" she coyly asked.
"I suppose he was good looking," Chris answered.
"Uh huh," Thomas interrupted, "...OK, how bout’ the guy your ex girlfriend was just friends with? Do they look similar to YOU? Maybe a little bit like, um. You?"
Chris stared at Thomas and Marie for a few seconds, his expression conveyed an escalating level of frustration.
"Fuck both of you!" Chris retorted, throwing his napkin in his plate as he got up to go to the restroom.
Thomas and Marie composed themselves while Chris was away, making small talk.
"...So, what do you think about our boy?" Thomas matter of factly asked.
"He means well; it’s gotta be hard to keep his distance from Angela. He’s got his head in the right place with Erin, at least, he just doesn’t know how to handle the other thing. I’m sure it’s tough, Thomas."
"Yeah, but didn’t this girl Angela screw his shit up?"
"Yeah, so did Erin; he screwed THEM up, too, for that matter. You gotta remember, he’s trying so hard to be better to everyone and fix these things with Erin while carrying guilt for the things in his marriage. I don't know...Somehow he thinks that this is his chance to leave things on better terms with Angela while using this second chance on Erin. I think he never anticipated being confused; that’s what I think, anyway. "
"Oh, C’mon!! Bullshit!" Chris chided. "This isn’t funny!"
Marie desperately tried to hold her laughter. "...Well" she began, "...let’s see..."
"What?" Chris snapped.
"...The guy your ex wife was with for a while, you know, her friend, what did he look like?" she coyly asked.
"I suppose he was good looking," Chris answered.
"Uh huh," Thomas interrupted, "...OK, how bout’ the guy your ex girlfriend was just friends with? Do they look similar to YOU? Maybe a little bit like, um. You?"
Chris stared at Thomas and Marie for a few seconds, his expression conveyed an escalating level of frustration.
"Fuck both of you!" Chris retorted, throwing his napkin in his plate as he got up to go to the restroom.
Thomas and Marie composed themselves while Chris was away, making small talk.
"...So, what do you think about our boy?" Thomas matter of factly asked.
"He means well; it’s gotta be hard to keep his distance from Angela. He’s got his head in the right place with Erin, at least, he just doesn’t know how to handle the other thing. I’m sure it’s tough, Thomas."
"Yeah, but didn’t this girl Angela screw his shit up?"
"Yeah, so did Erin; he screwed THEM up, too, for that matter. You gotta remember, he’s trying so hard to be better to everyone and fix these things with Erin while carrying guilt for the things in his marriage. I don't know...Somehow he thinks that this is his chance to leave things on better terms with Angela while using this second chance on Erin. I think he never anticipated being confused; that’s what I think, anyway. "
Marie stared out the window before continuing.
"...His heart’s in the right place, he’s just a bit naïve about some things. He’s always been that way, though," Marie explained.
"Well, they can’t be friends. If she was attracted to him BEFORE, she gonna be again," Thomas resolved.
"God! Now that I think about it, some of the best sex I ever had was with a friend... Friends with benefits," Marie sighed.
Thomas laughed.
"What?" Marie demanded.
"White people the only people I know that make a 'hook up' sound like a Goddamn 401k package," Thomas laughed, slapping the table repeatedly.
"Real funny, Thomas," Marie shot back.
"...C'mon girl...It’s a booty call; slappin' dem' CHEEKS, baby," he laughed. "...you got somma ' that big D in ya' but we just friends!' Thomas laughed.
Thomas and Marie sat, silently, for a moment, when Thomas shifted to a more serious tone.
"...You didn’t like me too much when you met me, huh?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I didn’t," Marie confessed. But, you’re kinda growin on me," she smiled. "...I knew you and your crowd; they’re bad news, ya' know?"
"Yeah, but you didn’t know the full story," Thomas interrupted.
"Yeah, I know the story," she dismissed. "...Runnin’ with your boys feels good, they don’t judge you; it’s a brotherhood, blah, blah, blah. It’s the easy way out and you fucking know it. Chris told me you’ve pushed them away, a lot; is that true?"
"Yeah, I’m tryin’ to get shit straight, girl."
"...And that’s why I kinda like you; after a while, I could sense that you didn’t really belong with those assholes. Be strong Thomas," Marie pleaded.
Thomas and Marie stared toward the men's room door.
"...So, you consider me a friend now, huh?" Thomas sheepishly asked.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Marie replied.
"You wanna see the benefits package?" Thomas laughed, clapping his hands loudly.
Marie tried her best to keep a straight face until she could no longer hold her composure.
"Shut the fuck up, Thomas!"
In the restroom, Chris looked in the mirror for a moment. He splashed water on his face, pouring through tough decisions.
"...What am I supposed to do?" he wondered aloud to himself, looking to the ceiling, then back to the mirror.
His cell phone rang, it was Angela.
"Hey, Angela. No, I don’t think so, why? Yeah, uh, I can do that, sounds like it could be fun. You think I can bring my buddy, Thomas? Oh, uh, sure, OK, I understand. I’ll come by Friday at, say…7? Alright, see ya’ then."
Angela called to inform Chris that she had VIP tickets to a street festival on Fulton Street downtown and invited him to be her "plus one." He wanted to keep it friendly and bring Thomas, but Angela had only two tickets.
Looking back to his reflection in the mirror; "...Shit! OK," he thought, "I gotta make sure I lay out some ground rules, fast," he resolved.
Back at the table, Thomas and Marie continued.
"...That thing about guys and girls not being able to be just friends," Thomas carefully began.
"Yeah? What about it?" Marie hesitantly asked.
"Well, you and Chris are friends."
"Yeah? We are," Marie wondered where this was headed.
"Kinda of proves us wrong, don’tcha’ think?" Thomas affirmed.
"Uh, there are exceptions to the rule, I SAID that a few minutes ago," Marie dismissed.
"Uh huh," Thomas interjected with skepticism.
"Oh, please!" Marie laughed. "He’s my best friend, Thomas; he‘s like a brother!"
"Hey, I believe you, just checkin’ girl."
Chris returned from the restroom.
"Damn, boy, you drop a deuce in there or what?" Thomas jabbed.
"Yeah, Thomas, that’s exactly what I did. I needed to be away from you two assholes for a minute," Chris retorted. "...If you must know, Angela called." Chris sighed as he took a seat.
"What did she want?" Marie asked.
"She wants to go to the shrimp fest on Fulton this weekend. It's in front of Harrah's Casino by the river this year."
Thomas smacked his hand against the table top, "...There’s your chance, boy! Have fun but set that shit straight when you see her," Thomas suggested.
"Have you told her that you and Erin have been goin’ out?" Marie pried.
"No, Marie, it hasn’t come up in conversation and it’s not relevant. Look, I gotta go," Chris quickly rose from the table."...I’m meeting Erin for a movie; you two sit here and continue to solve my problems."
"...Not enough time," Marie laughed.
After Chris left, Thomas looked Marie squarely in the eyes.
"...Girl, this shit gonna get interesting from here on out…real fast."
"Well, they can’t be friends. If she was attracted to him BEFORE, she gonna be again," Thomas resolved.
"God! Now that I think about it, some of the best sex I ever had was with a friend... Friends with benefits," Marie sighed.
Thomas laughed.
"What?" Marie demanded.
"White people the only people I know that make a 'hook up' sound like a Goddamn 401k package," Thomas laughed, slapping the table repeatedly.
"Real funny, Thomas," Marie shot back.
"...C'mon girl...It’s a booty call; slappin' dem' CHEEKS, baby," he laughed. "...you got somma ' that big D in ya' but we just friends!' Thomas laughed.
Thomas and Marie sat, silently, for a moment, when Thomas shifted to a more serious tone.
"...You didn’t like me too much when you met me, huh?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I didn’t," Marie confessed. But, you’re kinda growin on me," she smiled. "...I knew you and your crowd; they’re bad news, ya' know?"
"Yeah, but you didn’t know the full story," Thomas interrupted.
"Yeah, I know the story," she dismissed. "...Runnin’ with your boys feels good, they don’t judge you; it’s a brotherhood, blah, blah, blah. It’s the easy way out and you fucking know it. Chris told me you’ve pushed them away, a lot; is that true?"
"Yeah, I’m tryin’ to get shit straight, girl."
"...And that’s why I kinda like you; after a while, I could sense that you didn’t really belong with those assholes. Be strong Thomas," Marie pleaded.
Thomas and Marie stared toward the men's room door.
"...So, you consider me a friend now, huh?" Thomas sheepishly asked.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Marie replied.
"You wanna see the benefits package?" Thomas laughed, clapping his hands loudly.
Marie tried her best to keep a straight face until she could no longer hold her composure.
"Shut the fuck up, Thomas!"
In the restroom, Chris looked in the mirror for a moment. He splashed water on his face, pouring through tough decisions.
"...What am I supposed to do?" he wondered aloud to himself, looking to the ceiling, then back to the mirror.
His cell phone rang, it was Angela.
"Hey, Angela. No, I don’t think so, why? Yeah, uh, I can do that, sounds like it could be fun. You think I can bring my buddy, Thomas? Oh, uh, sure, OK, I understand. I’ll come by Friday at, say…7? Alright, see ya’ then."
Angela called to inform Chris that she had VIP tickets to a street festival on Fulton Street downtown and invited him to be her "plus one." He wanted to keep it friendly and bring Thomas, but Angela had only two tickets.
Looking back to his reflection in the mirror; "...Shit! OK," he thought, "I gotta make sure I lay out some ground rules, fast," he resolved.
Back at the table, Thomas and Marie continued.
"...That thing about guys and girls not being able to be just friends," Thomas carefully began.
"Yeah? What about it?" Marie hesitantly asked.
"Well, you and Chris are friends."
"Yeah? We are," Marie wondered where this was headed.
"Kinda of proves us wrong, don’tcha’ think?" Thomas affirmed.
"Uh, there are exceptions to the rule, I SAID that a few minutes ago," Marie dismissed.
"Uh huh," Thomas interjected with skepticism.
"Oh, please!" Marie laughed. "He’s my best friend, Thomas; he‘s like a brother!"
"Hey, I believe you, just checkin’ girl."
Chris returned from the restroom.
"Damn, boy, you drop a deuce in there or what?" Thomas jabbed.
"Yeah, Thomas, that’s exactly what I did. I needed to be away from you two assholes for a minute," Chris retorted. "...If you must know, Angela called." Chris sighed as he took a seat.
"What did she want?" Marie asked.
"She wants to go to the shrimp fest on Fulton this weekend. It's in front of Harrah's Casino by the river this year."
Thomas smacked his hand against the table top, "...There’s your chance, boy! Have fun but set that shit straight when you see her," Thomas suggested.
"Have you told her that you and Erin have been goin’ out?" Marie pried.
"No, Marie, it hasn’t come up in conversation and it’s not relevant. Look, I gotta go," Chris quickly rose from the table."...I’m meeting Erin for a movie; you two sit here and continue to solve my problems."
"...Not enough time," Marie laughed.
After Chris left, Thomas looked Marie squarely in the eyes.
"...Girl, this shit gonna get interesting from here on out…real fast."
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