Driving home, Chris found himself deep in thought. He felt a sense of relief for coming clean with Angela but he held a level of guilt for not doing it sooner.
His attention diverted to a beeping tone coming from the glove box. He'd left his cell phone behind when he and Angela arrived to the festival. Fumbling with the glove box, Chris finally managed to find his phone.
Trying his best to scroll through the call display while driving, Chris noticed that he had received numerous missed calls.
Shit!" He mumbled, staring at the phone display. Marie had literally blown up his phone tonight. He wondered what could possibly be so important, but rather than return her call, he figured he'd just pop in and talk with her in person since she was just getting off at the pub. Plus, he wanted to share the news about he and Angela's conversation.
Chris’ scanned the room for Marie when he finally spotted her sitting midway down the bar, staring blankly above at the TV.
Hey!" he greeted.
Marie’s mental beating session had been interrupted as she turned to Chris, wondering if her slip of tongue had ruined the night. She would be able to immediately sense if something had gone wrong. She felt that the fact that he was talking to her was a positive sign.
"Hey, how’d your friendly outing go?" Marie hesitantly asked, hoping for good news.
"It was good, we had fun," Chris proudly announced, grabbing a handful of pretzels from a bowl. "By the way, I got about 15 missed calls from you; what the hell?" Chris asked, holding up his cell phone.
"Oh, it was nothing; I just wanted to see how it was going...I was nervous for you I suppose," she dismissed with a nervous laugh.
"Well," Chris began, "worry no more...we had fun, we also had a moment, an intimate moment."
"Oh no!" she interjected.
"No, it’s OK; we talked and I was honest with her about my feelings and she was honest about hers, it went well." Chris assured.
"That’s good…right?" Marie asked.
"Yeah, it’s great," Chris resolutely answered, taking a sip of his beer.
Marie reluctantly decided that she’d better tell Chris about seeing Erin and Jen, and about her verbal misstep.
"Hey sweetie," Marie hesitantly began; "I need to tell you something..."
No sooner than she 'd begun, Marie's confession was interrupted by Chris’ cell phone.
"Hey...hold that thought; it’s Erin. I’m just gonna step outside real quick and take this."
Marie watched as Chris walked out. She silently prayed that this would be a good phone call.
Outside, Chris answered his phone; "Hey Erin."
"Hi Chris."
"Whatcha doin?" Chris asked.
"Oh, nothing; I just got home," Erin replied, taking a few seconds before continuing. "Jen and I went out for a while tonight, how bout you? How was your night with your friend?" Erin asked.
"Oh...it was fun," Chris stammered. "We haven’t spent time together in a while so we had a chance to get caught up on old times; we mainly just talked about some stuff that we needed to settle from a while back." Chris finished his vague explanation.
"Well, sounds like a nice night," Erin’s tone was measured. Chris sensed that something was amiss.
"Uh, is everything OK Erin? You sound funny."
"Funny? Do I? No, not at all Chris," Erin nonchalantly answered.
Chris didn't say a word, he waited for Erin to speak next.
"We stopped by to see Marie tonight and had a couple of drinks," Erin continued.
"Oh?? That’s great," Chris said.
"Then, we went to the Shrimp Fest."
"Oh?" Chris awkwardly replied, "did you have fun?"
"Yeah, we did."
Chris’ mind slowly unraveled the mystery behind Erin’s tone. Surely she didn’t see him, surely she wasn’t jealous; the tone in her voice couldn’t be the worst case scenario, he hoped.
After another pause, Erin asked the burning question. "Did you enjoy it?"
Well, there it is, the worst case scenario, Chris thought to himself before answering. He closed his eyes and clinched his fists, wondering how this could be happening.
"Yeah Erin, it was nice, I had fun at the Shrimp Fest," Chris sighed. "How did you know I was there anyway?" He pried.
"I didn’t, but Marie reminded us that it was going on and Jen’s friend played there tonight so, long story short, we went, we ate, we saw her friend's band and...I saw you," Erin said with a chill.
Chris immediately looked to the pub door; thoughts of killing Marie rushed through his head. Only how? How would he do it?
Torture? Not conforming to Geneva Conference Treaty rules where it had to be humane...good old fashioned jungle tactics torture, using nothing but primitive methods. The kind of torture that would make people confess to crimes they hadn’t even thought of committing.
"I kind of figured your friend was a guy," Erin said with a hint of jealousy.
"Well, my friend wasn’t a guy Erin."
"Yeah, I kinda' noticed; you two seemed to be having a nice, friendly time. Very sweet hug too if I saw correctly.
"Erin , It’s nowhere nearly what it looks like. It was..."
"Look, it’s OK Chris," Erin interrupted. "We’re not married and we’re not at the exclusive point yet so it’s really none of my business."
"Erin," Chris sighed, "let me call you back in a minute," he begged.
"I really need to get ready for bed Chris, I’ll talk to you later, OK?"
"OK. Look, Erin, I just want to..."
The call had disconnected in mid sentence.
Back inside the bar, Marie nervously glanced toward the door every 30 seconds or so. She painfully waited for Chris to return, anxious to see the look on his face after speaking with Erin. She’d know in an instant if it was the worst case scenario. She, again, silently prayed under her breath.
The door opened with Chris on the other side. He slowly entered, staring ahead, walking straight for her. His face held no expression. Marie’s stomach dropped, she could see it. It was, in fact, the worst case scenario and she knew it.
Chris sat next to her, silently.
"Hey, Sally," he casually summoned the bartender. "Could you bring me a shot of Jameson? Bring one for Marie also...it’s on me."
Chris stared at the TV. His silence, to Marie, was tortuous, almost deafening. Her mind raced to find the right words to make this situation better. To apologize and to explain how it was a simple accident; maybe he’d understand, she desperately hoped.
The Jameson shots arrived and Chris paid his tab. Marie finally broke the uncomfortable silence.
"Chris?" She sheepishly spoke.
Chris remained silent, never diverting his eyes from the TV.
"Chris? Talk to me," she begged.
Chris turned to Marie and finally spoke. His tone was calm and emotionless.
"Marie, I don’t wanna hear it this time; I don’t wanna hear one thing out of your mouth as a matter of fact because there’s nothing that you can tell me that will make me understand how you could screw up this many times after I begged you to be quiet.
"But, let me explain," Marie interrupted.
"No...I don't wanna hear it. I begged you about not talking too much with Angela, I begged you about Erin; I’m tired of it Marie. And, I swear to God, if you cost me this chance with Erin..." Chris paused, never completing his sentence.
"It's not as bad as you think Chris," Marie frantically defended herself.
"You know what Marie? No more," Chris resolved aloud.
"Wait! What? What do you mean no more?" She helplessly pleaded, tears welled in her eyes.
Chris stood and held up his shot, downing it in an instant. He resolutely slammed the empty glass on the counter.
"Enjoy your shot Marie, it’s the last thing you'll get from me for a long time."
Chris curtly turned to leave.
"Wait!! Chris, please? It was an accident, I promise."
After a few steps toward the door, Chris glared back; "It’s always an accident Marie…now that I think about it," he continued, "when this whole thing started and no one remembered who I was...It's too bad that you weren‘t one of them," he calmly wished aloud before walking out.
Marie sat quietly and motionless for a moment, she stared at the door with utter numbness.
"That was the worst thing anyone has ever said to me," she whispered as tears rolled down her cheek, dropping to the floor.
Chris parked in front of Erin’s house where he found her sitting on the stoop.
"Hey," he greeted with a sigh of frustration.
"I thought we were gonna talk tomorrow?" Erin replied.
"Yeah, well I thought we might talk for a minute tonight if you feel like it," he pressed.
Chris sat next to Erin on the stoop and began his explanation.
"Erin, I’m not doing anything with the girl you saw tonight; she’s just a friend, I promise."
"Chris it’s not my business; maybe we’ve been moving too quickly anyway," she cautioned.
"No, we haven’t Erin. Look, I knew this girl a long time ago and we caught up and resolved some things; it was innocent and nothing more."
"Oh, so you had a thing with her in the past??" Erin laughed.
"No...well, yes…I mean, kinda'," Chris didn’t know how to truthfully answer Erin's question. He didn’t want to lie but the truth would have been unbelievable. This was a scenario for which Chris was not prepared in his new found world.
"So, what am I supposed to think Chris? You’ve been distant this week, you cryptically tell me about goin’ out with a friend and it turns out it’s a girl…a girl, I now know, that you had a past with," Erin scolded.
"You’re one to lecture me about a God damn past Erin; at least I don’t live with my past staying 2 doors down the hall," Chris snapped, referring to Tim.
"You sure you wanna open this can right now Chris?" Erin glared with an icy expression.
"No, Erin, I don’t...I’m sorry and I know I shouldn’t have said that."
"Maybe this is moving too fast," Erin wondered aloud. "Maybe I still have some things to sort out from my past too Chris," Erin suggested.
Chris thought about the past also. Maybe this isn’t the right time, not just yet, he wondered. Maybe never. Perhaps, if they took some down time, things would be OK. Maybe Erin is right, maybe she and Chris did need to become closer friends
"Fuck!" Chris screamed in his mind. "This is happening again! Why does life have to be so fucking complicated? Why can’t things be easy??"
Chris felt an enormous weight of defeat. After all, he thought that he'd done things correctly this time; differently. He was honest with Angie, he'd worked hard on fixing his personal problems, he'd shown better love and friendship to Erin. "What the hell??" He wondered.
Erin stood, extending her hand to Chris. A reassuring smile crossed her face.
"It’s gonna be OK Chris," Erin comforted, pulling Chris closer.
The same words that she’d uttered in the past as they struggled to save a troubled relationship had now resurfaced.
Erin and Chris held each other for a few moments, never speaking a word until Erin tilted her head back, looking into Chris’ eyes. They shared a loving kiss before Erin turned to go inside.
"I’ll talk to you tomorrow Chris," Erin assured, gently closing the door behind her.
Chris stood on her stoop for a moment before whispering toward the door.
"Goodnight Erin."
copyright, Pontchartrain Press 2008
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